Hi Ngaire,
I found your blog this week to be very creative and expressive of your own understanding of the lifestyle of war. I picked up a Wilfred Owen reference within your writing, “Dignified custom of the passing bells passes away”, which I found to be very daring but I believe you pulled it off really well. The last four lines really struck me the most as the most truthful words were spoken of in the most simplest of words. The only thing I can say is that you could include a few more lines of sensory imagery. The reader can image your words but it would be more effective if they could be there and hear it as well.
Overall you’ve done a great job!
– Annaliese



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