Hi Natalie,
I love the fact that you’ve chosen to write your own take on Matthew’s reply. You’ve brilliantly used the senses in each of the paragraphs to lift a vivid collection of moments that can take place throughout the course of nature. Through your use of the senses, I truly felt that you were drawing nature right in front of my very eyes, also each stanza you present you seems to be teaching the reader about the beauty that comes with unlocking each sense and freely giving oneself to nature. I cannot express enough how much I enjoyed the fact that you didn’t rhyme at all but let the words flow word by word.
Although you highlighted the senses in different colours which really made them stand out even more, you could even add an image to paint the picture of nature that you incredibly showed. All in all fantastic work and I’ll see you in the tutorials! 🙂




One thought on “#1 Peer Review

  1. *Please attend to editing your work carefully. Here is what I have picked up:
    *to lift a vivid array of moments= not clear what this means???? can you lift an array??? a bit abstract…
    * Through your use of the sense = Through your use of the senses… [plural]
    * each stanza you present you seem to be teaching= each stanza you present you seemS to be teaching [Agreement of Subject and Verb. Plural nouns need plural verbs and singular nouns need singular verbs. What should this be? http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/595/01/%5D
    * let the words flow count by count.= not sure what “count by count” means in this context…


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