What a great interpretation of the way Emma reacts to this situation. I love the way you used syntax, in short, sharp sentences to show the immediate reaction of Emma’s subconscious realisation that the man she cares is being loved over by another. When you used the sentence, “How could I be so stupid as to miss that?”, to me, it felt more like a current version of what Emma would have said if she was placed in this time period, so I was really appreciative of the time jump.
Something that I think you could work on is maybe to add more onto the line, “Why am I getting so jealous about this situation? No, no. I love Mr Knightley.”. An additional line or even just one elongated sentence would have made this certain line in your entire paragraph pop out as this is the most important line, it is the moment she realises her deep love for someone she blindsided in this time. Overall, I really enjoyed your take! Well Done! 🙂